A Mirror Clearly Revealing One’s Faults
by Kachen Yeshe Gyaltsen
Playing the role of the saffron-robed one who embodies
The complete assembly of countless conquerors,
Great treasury of compassion, venerable guru:
To you, I make requests: Bless my mental continuum!
When I examine the behavior of my three doors
I see nothing concordant with Dharma whatsoever,
Passing the time day and night with non-Dharmic deeds–
Look with compassion on me, a mere reflection of a practitioner!
Despite having entered the door of Dharma from the time of my youth
I have yet to generate any experience of the Dharma whatsoever, and
Have thoroughly imbued my continuum with black religious offerings and poisonous Dharmas–
Look with compassion on me, who shaved his hair in order to fill his belly!
Despite having studied numerous scriptures of Sutra and Tantra,
Just like a stone in the ocean
The Dharma’s moisture has yet to leave a mark within the depths of my mind–
Guru, Look with compassion on this one insensitive to Dharma!
Despite having from my mouth propounded hundreds of sweet-sounding Dharma teachings
Since the two, my mind and the Dharma, like a man carrying a corpse,
Have come to contradict one another, my hopes are vanquished!
Look with compassion on this one who hasn’t blended the Dharma with his mind!
Despite appearing handsome, dressed in round, saffron religious robes
My mental continuum remains untamed, rigid like a horn;
What’s the difference between myself and a farmer who puts on yellow robes?
Guru, look with compassion on me, who grasps at the mere signs of monasticism!
Without having tamed myself, I preach the Dharma to others;
Unsure of where I’m going, I lead others onwards;
Not able to take care of myself, I command a great congregation—
Guru, look with compassion on me, this foolish one!
Although I have listened to many teachings, my practice is deprived of the essential points;
Although skilled in conceptual analysis, I don’t recognize my own faults;
Although my wisdom is vast I don’t know how to abandon the afflictive emotions—
Look with compassion on me, this heap of contradictions!
Although I have been taken care of by many holy gurus,
Not having viewed whatever actions they performed as excellent, I imputed faults;
Not having practiced in accordance with their instructions, I surrendered to the force of my desires—
Guru, look with compassion on me, this unfortunate one!
Having been greatly distracted by the meaningless activities of this life,
Until now, I have squandered this excellent basis of freedom, and
Whatever efforts I have made have resulted in meaningless, unfinished works—
Look with compassion on me, returning empty handed from a life of freedom and fortune!
While seeing that death is sudden and its time uncertain,
Have I called to mind my own death?
Through my attachment to this life, I have created a collection of causes of bad migrations—
Look with compassion on me, the kindling of hell’s flames!
Lacking mindfulness, introspection and conscientiousness, I have strayed from ethics;
Lacking renunciation, I have forsaken the path of liberation;
Whatever actions I have performed have been exclusively under delusion’s power—
Look with compassion on me, a rock in the depths of samsara!
Before the eyes of preceptor and disciples I established the Teacher Buddha as witness, then,
Having pledged to accomplish the four dharmas of a monastic,1
I take solely to exalting myself and disparaging others;
Guru, look with compassion on me, devoid of embarrassment!
Having asserted the pledge, “Contented with whatever arises, I will abide
In the four preferences of the aryas2”
With deceit and pretense I take to the practice of wrong livelihood—
Look with compassion on this yellow clad evil-doer!
Having asserted the pledge, “I abandon all proscribed and natural misdeeds!”
I don’t practice the mind of restraint
With respect to even the ten non-virtuous actions—
Look with compassion on me, this robber of virtuous practice!
Although full of the harsh poisons of jealousy toward those superior,
Competitiveness toward those alike, and disdain for those inferior,
In the sight of others I modify my conduct to appear pacified and tamed—
Look upon me, who is like a duplicitous cat!
Having asserted the pledge before all conquerors and their sons,
“I will liberate all sentient beings,”
I am without embarrassment and engage in harmful acts toward others—
Look with compassion at me, an object of pity!
Although I don’t even have love and compassion as a motivation
I haughtily boast of being a mahayanist.
Alas! How is it tenable to be like me?
Guru, look with compassion on me, a horrible one.
I haven’t even generated the experience of a small scope being, and
Haven’t protected any of my commitments or vows,
Yet I boast of being a mantrika of the highest of vehicles—
Guru, Look with compassion on me, who is rotten-hearted.
While proclaiming, “All phenomena are primordially empty and selfless
And all animate and inanimate objects are in the nature of infinite purity,”
I devote myself to criticizing others—
Guru, look with compassion on this deceitful madman!
Since in all circumstances of this life, future lives and the bardo,
There is no other source of refuge in which to place one’s hopes,
Look with compassion, lord guru-Mahasiddha,
Grant your blessings, compassionate Loving Savior!
Through this proclamation of mine revealing all of my faults,
May all the assemblies of great compassionate saviors come to be pleased,
And the negative actions as well as their imprints
Of myself and all of my old mother migrators be purified without exception!
Colophon: At the time of the summer rains retreat during the Water Snake Year (1773), when examining the actions of my three doors, not seeing anything whatsoever that was devoid of defilement, had moved away from the dharmas of false pleasantries, carelessness and sloth, or was in accord with the holy Dharma, I became dejected. As a method for clearly declaring all of my own faults, I, Gelong Yeshe Gyaltsen, composed this by urgently expressing whatever arose in my mind.
Translators’ Colophon: This text was translated by the rocks in samsara Gelong Gyalten Lekden and Getsul Jampa Khedrub at Sera Je Monastery, Bylakuppe, in December 2016. May any merit from this meager translation be dedicated to the long and healthy lives of all of our dear gurus.
Notes
1. The four dharmas of a monastic are to not return abuse when abused, to not respond in anger when met with anger, to not respond with criticism when censured, and to not strike back when struck.
2. The four preferences of the aryas are contentment with mediocre clothing, contentment with mediocre alms, contentment with mediocre lodging, and the inclination toward abandoning non-virtue and habituating oneself toward virtue.