The Emetic that Expels the Inner Pathosis 1
Composed by Panchen Lobsang Chökyi Gyaltsen
Homage to you, Guru Mañjughosha!
Lokeshvara, assuming the form of the spiritual friend,
Who spreads the teachings in this snowy mountain range,
Venerable omniscient one, whose kindness is without equal,
Savior of migrators, guru, to your feet I pay homage!
Look with compassion on your faithful disciples—
Bless our minds to turn in the direction of Dharma.
When I reflected, having pointed my finger inward
At the way I have behaved hitherto,
I recognized that, just like a fox wearing a lion’s skin,
Impersonating a dharma practitioner, I engaged in non-Dharma actions; hence, I lament!
Look with compassion on me, this pale reflection of a practitioner—
Bless me to henceforth practice in accordance with the Dharma.
Although I have met with the holy feet of many realized scholars,
Since I have not produced a discrimination of them as actual buddhas,
Then, just like having dragged a tattered robe amidst gold and silver
Having forsaken good qualities, I imputed faults; hence, I lament!
Look with compassion on this unfortunate one of wrong views—
Bless me to effortlessly produce faith and respect.
Although I have attained the good foundation of the eight freedoms and ten fortunes,
Since I recollect from the heart neither how difficult it is to acquire nor its great meaning
Then, just like one who returns from an island of jewels with nothing,
I waste my human life in meaninglessness; hence, I lament!
Look with compassion on this one who returns from freedom and fortune empty-handed—
Bless me to use the rest of my life meaningfully.
Although understanding that at the end of life comes death,
Since I do not recollect from my heart the uncertainty of the time of death
Then, just like one possessing a confidence of having attained mastery,
My days and nights passed in the torpor of distraction; hence, I lament!
Look with compassion on this procrastinator grasping at permanence—
Bless me to establish an urgent, enthusiastic effort.
Although understanding a little of the differentiation of karma and its effects,
Since I have not produced faith and conviction from the depths of my heart
Then, just like someone with sight leaping into an abyss
I knowingly disregard karma and effect; hence, I lament!
Look with compassion on me, this one devoid of shame or embarrassment—
Bless me to abandon vice and accomplish virtue.
Here ends the first, the occasion of the small scope being.
Although being sunk in the mires of samsara since beginningless time,
Tortured by numerous sufferings of karma and delusion,
Just like a fly attracted to a heap of filth
Still, I am without an earnest wish for liberation; hence, I lament!
Look with compassion on me, this perpetual wanderer in samsara—
Bless me to recognize the path of liberation.
Although I shaved my hair, changed attire and went forth from lay life,
Since I have not wholeheartedly contemplated samsara’s faults and nirvana’s qualities,
Then just like a farmer dressed in clothes of gold,
Still, I have not abandoned the mind of a householder; hence, I lament!
Look with compassion on me, this pale reflection of an ordained person—
Bless me to produce the pure mind of definite emergence. 2
Although before the eyes of preceptor and disciples I have accepted trainings and vows,
Since I have not cultivated mindfulness, introspection and conscientiousness,
Then just like a crazed elephant without an iron hook to train him,
I drown in a mire of manifold faults and downfalls; hence, I lament!
Look with compassion on me, this pale reflection of a monastic—
Bless me to recollect the antidotes to affliction.
Although I have listened to the scriptures and commentaries, the quintessential instructions,
Since I don’t rely upon a mind understanding the meanings
Then, just like a picture of someone listening to the Dharma,
There’s not the slightest improvement upon the mind; hence, I lament!
Look with compassion on me, this one with a practice possessed by a demon—
Bless me to apply all that I have understood to my mental continuum.
Although before the eyes of others I correct my external appearance,
Since I have not abandoned inner hypocrisy, deceit and so forth,
Then just like the behavior of a cat toward water fowl
My deception has duped both myself and others; hence, I lament!
Look with compassion on this superficial hypocrite—
Bless me to expel this inner pathosis.
Although I have done what appears to be exerting myself at restoration and purification,
Since I have produced neither repentance nor a mind of restraint from my heart,
Then just like an elephant tormented by the sun repeatedly bathes, 3
I sully myself again and again with faults and downfalls; hence, I lament!
Look with compassion on me, this collector of the causes of bad migrations—
Bless me to practice the four opponent power confession. 4
Here ends the second, the occasion of the middling scope being.
Although I have done what appears to be entering the door of Mahayana Dharma,
Since I have not wholeheartedly recollected the six types of migrators as my parents
Then, just like a Shravaka or Pratyekabuddha practicing solely for their purposes 5
I have forsaken my kind mothers; hence, I lament!
Look with compassion on me, this pale reflection of a bodhisattva—
Bless me to develop the mind cherishing others more than myself.
Although I have done what appears to be meditating on instructions on the view, the profound meaning,
Due to very strong predispositions toward a mistaken grasping at inherent existence,
Then, just like rivulets spread across the iced surface of a lake,
Self-grasping firmly remains; hence, I lament!
Look with compassion on this one of empty talk regarding the view—
Bless me to realize the mode of abiding, selflessness.
Here ends the third, the occasion of the great scope being.
Although I have done what appears to be entering the door of the teachings of the Secret Mantra,
Since I have not protected my pledges as my life,
Then just as building on the eroded edge of a riverbank decays
I have lost the basis for achieving all realizations; hence, I lament!
Look with compassion upon me, this kindling for the flames of the hells—
Bless me to properly protect my commitments.
Although I have done what appears to be meditating on the profound generation and completion stages,
Since I have not achieved stability with respect to the mind of meditative equipoise
Then just like the recitations of a talking parrot
Most of my spiritual activities have passed as mere sound; hence I lament! 6
Look with compassion upon me, this pale reflection of a tantric practitioner—
Bless me to master the essential points of practice.
Here ends the fourth section, on engaging in Secret Mantra.
Although I have done what appears to be teaching the profound Dharma to others,
Since I have no experience in my own continuum
Then just like the Dharma expressions of a singing performer
There is not the slightest benefit to others; hence, I lament!
Look with compassion upon this spreader of foolish teachings—
Bless me to first subdue my own continuum.
Although I have done what appears to leading others upward,
Since I have not obtained mastery over my own mind
Then just like the blind leading the blind,
I direct both myself and others toward ruin; hence, I lament!
Look with compassion upon this worthless impersonator of wholesomeness—
Bless me to recognize the unmistaken path.
Here ends the fifth section, on benefitting others and the welfare of migrators.
Although it has been a long time since I entered the door of Dharma,
Since I have not, from within, expelled the inner pathosis of this life,
Then just like a butter pouch or a river stone
Still my mental continuum remains unaffected; hence, I lament! 7
Look with compassion on this one who doesn’t blend my mind with the Dharma—
Bless me to give up thoughts of this life.
Although, despite lacking confidence, I have heedlessly enjoyed food offerings made from faith and in remembrance of the dead, and so forth, very difficult to digest,
Just like a pauper who has received a loan which he has no means to repay,
I am oppressed by the burden of previous negative karma not yet atoned for; hence, I lament!
Look with compassion on me, this heap composed of offerings—
Bless me to properly perform purification with regard to religious offerings. 8
Although I have kept the company of companions superior, similar, and inferior alike,
Since I have not for a moment cultivated pure view
Then just like enemies engaging in battle back and forth
I have engaged in jealousy, competitiveness and pride; hence, I lament!
Look with compassion upon me, this one of foul, obstinate mind—
Bless me to cultivate pure view with respect to all.
Through the power of negative karma I was born into this degenerate age,
If I practice what is in accordance with the masses it is at odds with the holy Dharma,
If I practice what is in accordance with the Dharma it is at odds with all people.
Whatever actions I have done have turned to resentment; hence, I lament!
Look with compassion upon me, this one with nothing in this or future lives—
Bless me that whatever actions I do become Dharma.
I have nothing besides non-virtuous karma accumulated up until now;
My future destinations are certain to be exclusively bad transmigrations.
Therefore, it is not mere lip service,
This remorse and regret that I feel from the very marrow of my bones.
Look with compassion upon this despicable, pathetic one —
Bless me to block the door to future rebirth in the bad transmigrations.
In the event others also have a way of appearance similar to this,
There is no doubt that their purpose has, from their very heart, decayed:
If there’s not even a lack of regret at the time of one’s death,
Then it is certain that one will have cheated oneself.
Look with compassion upon me and all migrators like me—
Bless me and others to be fully ripened and liberated.
All those things I have grasped as precious in my heart until now
At last I begin to realize as chaff.
Now, I cast to the wind the aims of this life.
Day and night without respite I earnestly aspire for the Dharma.
Look upon me with compassion and, guru, yidam, I request:
Bless me to accomplish all purposes entreated.
Here ends the sixth section, on, in addition to having expelled all remainders of this injurious, internal disease, restoring the vital force of the antidotes.
Colophon: This treatise, verses of supplication to the guru and tutelary deity, called “The Emetic that Expels the Inner Pathosis,” was composed by the monk Lobsang Chökyi Gyaltsen in the residence the Unsurpassed Dharma Palace of the Great Monastic Seat Lhundrub Dechen. May all be auspicious!
Translators’ Colophon: This text was translated by the worthless impersonators of wholesomeness, Getsul Jampa Khedrub and Gelong Gyalten Lekden at Sera Je Monastery, Bylakuppe, in December 2016. May any merit from this meager translation be dedicated to the long and healthy lives of all of our dear gurus.
Notes
1. We whole-heartedly agree that “pathosis” is an uncommon word. The Tibetan is referencing a severe illness, and some translators in the past have chosen to translate it as ulcer or tumor, but that is not appropriate here, especially as the prayer is being referred to as an emetic, or in Tibetan skyug sman, literally a medicine which makes you vomit.
2. The “mind of definite emergence” (Tib: nges ‘byung gi bsam pa) is the mind that is striving for definite emergence from samsara. It is commonly translated simply as “renunciation,” which is correct, but it somewhat hides some of the meaning that is clearer in the Tibetan compound word. Often the Tibetan, as is the case in his prayer, leaves out the word “mind” and simply appears as “definite emergence,” which can be confusing if you don’t already know the etymology, and is one reason that “renunciation” is commonly used instead.
3. Instead of getting out of the sun and removing the source of its suffering, the elephant mindlessly repeats the action of dowsing itself with water, never really alleviating its misery. Similarly, instead of cultivating an actual mind of restraint I mindlessly repeat those actions which are in fact downfalls.
4. The four opponent powers for a complete confession and purification practice are the powers of reliance, repentance, resolve, and antidote.
5. The Shravaka (Hearer) and Pratyekabuddha (Solitary Realizer) paths are the lower paths, for beings without bodhicitta, or even the mind of great compassion. The result of these paths is lesser nirvana, the state of being a Hinayana Arhat, which is achieved only through striving for one’s own liberation, not that of others.
6. The Tibetan actually says as a “sound generality,” which is not a sound itself but rather that phenomena that appears as a sound to a conceptual mind apprehending sound, in distinction to an actual sound that is apprehended, without such an appearance, by a non-conceptual ear consciousness. However, in this verse the term is being used in comparison to the meaningless babble of a parrot, and “mere sound” evokes that sentiment more clearly.
7. In Tibet, butter is kneaded into leather to soften it and make it pliable, but the leather pouches used to store butter become hard and inflexible. Therefore even though in general butter should soften leather, if you tried to knead it into the leather of a butter pouch it would never be able to soften it, since it is hard and impermeable. This is often used as an example to distinguish between those students who listen to Dharma properly, and hence are moved by it, and thick-skulled beings who are not moved.
8. Devotees make various offerings to ordained communities for a number of reasons, but in all cases it is dependent on the idea that a monastic is a worthy object of offerings due to their monastic morality. If a monastic has an impure morality or degenerated vows then to receive such offerings is a duplicitous action. The aim of the verse is that, although I have received many offerings, so many so that I am practically made up of them with regard to all the offerings of food I receive, I am not actually worthy of them.